I’m not referring to the blog. (Though lately it may feel that way.)

Today’s visit to the coop confirmed my dreadful fears that all my meal planning may be a waste of time. This is dramatic – yes. But really, planning a purchase for the entire month in one visit is completely overwhelming. For all the control I have over what I buy, I have less over how much. Sure, I need two packs of toilet paper and I buy two packs and I know how much that costs. But when it comes to bulk purchases, I don’t really know how much I’m buying or what the total will be. Ultimately, I realized that money is the golden ticket. If money were not an issue than I could pick out every little thing I wanted, or thought we needed and I could have us set for the month. But given the $400 for the whole month, I had to limit each categorized expense.

In some ways the $400 breakdown will remain the same, post-failed experiment. We will continue to set aside $80 for meat and $75 for dairy. Produce tends to be way cheaper than you’d think, and when I set aside the $36 a week it feels like a huge amount. The tricky part comes with the other miscellaneous purchases. For the household items I allotted $50 and this worked out fine. But what about pasta, coconut milk and tea?

Tea. As much as I love the stuff, damn is it expensive. Four boxes of tea run us over $20! All of a sudden the good intention of having something other than water, makes me feel like we better start adding ice cubes to the water cause that’s all the change we’ll be having in our glasses. And so, with the high cost of tea and the need for pasta and bread and a small bag of corn tortillas ($1.29 for a dozen) and some coconut milk, all of sudden we are spending nearly $30! Holy shit grocery shopping is expensive.

I’m frustrated with myself as much as the experience. My intentions are good. I want to eat local food. I want to shop less frequently. I want to spend more time with friends and loved ones. And yet, all of this comes at a cost. I have to spend many hours in a store wieghing out bottles and planning out meals weeks in advance. You know what?! Fah-get-ah-bout-it!

After this month and/or maybe next week, the plan will be deconstructed. I have money put aside for milk and meat. Everything else will be up for grabs. I’ll go to the store more often. I’ll survive. I think after all of this I just want something simple. I want to eat and shop like other people – without anxiety and frustration. Is this possible? Maybe. Maybe not. For now, I’d like to believe it’s worth a shot.

Related posts:

1. Soupcycle (or) Meal planning embraces spontaneity
2. New Year’s Resolutions
3. Seasonality saves cost (weekly menu 7)
4. Walking the Talk (weekly menu 16)
5. Expectations (weekly menu 22)

Tags: Bulk purchase, seasonal eating